The ER

I brought Eric into the ER today at Fairview Hospital. He hasn't been feeling well these last few weeks. In the last 48 hours, he's been non-responsive (delays in thought processes), fatigued, not eating/drinking, having headaches, and woke up this morning with hives. I decided to take him into the ER for a full work-up. We ended up waiting 5 hours for the neuro resident on staff to examine Eric. They did a full head scan and bloodwork. The scan showed no changes. The bloodwork was normal (wbc count low-as expected). I asked the resident (who has been following Eric's case since day one) why Eric was exhibiting all these symptoms if there were "no significant" findings. He told me something I wasn't expecting to hear (or wasn't ready to hear); Eric is experiencing declining health because he's undergoing the later stages of brain cancer. He may bounce back with the help of steroids, but it may only last for a short period of time. Combine that with experimental chemo, depression, lack of appetite, pain, and immune suppression...the visit confirmed my fears.

I cried. I cried hard. One never really thinks about "the end". One knows it's going to happen, but it never feels "real".  I looked at Eric in the ER bed and thought to myself, "How will I ever live without him? This is really happening...I can't stop it." So, I just let myself cry.   

We left with steroids and pain meds. We managed to stop by Arby's for a quick dinner on the way home. The IV fluids gave Eric a boost of energy. I soaked up the minutes I had with him while we sat there eating dinner together. He was tired and fatigued by the time we got home. He went to bed right away upon walking in the door. I'm very tired myself, but I felt it important to share this update with family and friends. I will post another update in the next few days. It's time to retire.