At Home

Eric's been really tired today. He was in and out of bed till late this afternoon. It's not unusual for him to sleep a few hours a day, but lately the hours are adding up. He's sleeping more and more. No surprise. This is expected of course at this stage of the disease. He'll sleep more and more as the cancer progresses. I really believe he's at a point where leaving the house is no longer an option. His energy level is at an all time low. Even with the high dose of steroids on board, he's still very fatigued. We spend most of our time in the home. Today, I did some cleaning, played with the little guy, internet surfing, and eventually got over to my parents house with Ethan for a nice visit. It was a very low key day. Nothen' special. Just a nice, calm day.

We did talk with Eric's nurse at Fairview Hospital yesterday. We've been informed that Eric "may" only have 4-6 weeks to live. It's a guess..but from the information they've gathered from us about Eric's current symptoms, this is the estimation they gave us. We have a big meeting next Monday with Eric's oncologist, Dr.Truschiem, and Eric's primary nurse, Katy. He'll have his final MRI the same day. It will be our last visit to Fairview Hospital. The focus will be palliative care at this point. We're moving forward with in-home hospice and hope to have Eric with us at home during his final days. All of this needs addressing as Eric enters the last stage of brain cancer.

These last few days have made me realize that it's important for me to start grief counseling. For some unknown reason, I've avoided picking up the phone and making the appointment. It's been on my to-do-list for months. It just never seemed like the right moment. Eric's health was ok up until this point. It was easy to let things go and just keep living life as usual. My life has been dramatically shifted within the last few weeks. The experience of loss is more real. Eric is less available and we're no longer sharing in the activities that defined our marriage. My home and daily routines have changed as I've needed more help caring for Eric. So, I made the call and I feel really good about it. I start next week.