One Month

Grieving is a complicated process. It's not predictable. Things don't happen in any particular order and no two people grieve in the same way. For me, the experience has been a series of waves. Each wave brings something new to the surface. Whether it be an unfamiliar emotion or a reflection on history, it requires sorting out and dealing with. So far, I've been handling each wave patiently. I don't rush the experience and I don't avoid it. I welcome it. As strange as that may sound, it's part of "dealing" with loss. Every time I overcome one of these moments, I feel fuller as if I've learned something about myself and the world. These moments have potential to create change and help us grow as individuals. They're reminders of what is truly important in our lives. The sorrow I felt yesterday reminds me to appreciate the joy I have found today. The grieving process teaches us so many things about life and that's why it's so complicated...that's why we all walk away from the experience having felt something unique and individual. Life is complicated within itself. Add to that, a loss of great magnitude, and it's no wonder that we feel overwhelmed by the grieving process. I mention this today because it's been a topic in our family these last few days. We're all sort of lost and unsure about our place in the world. Grieving is like being on a remote island in the middle of no where without a map. There's no right direction to go. There is no simple way to get off the island. Moving forward is all we can do...hoping that wherever the path leads us, that we'll find peace and happiness once again.   

It's been a month since Eric died. It may seem like a short period of time to many, but for me, it feels like a century. Distance grows each passing day. In remembrance of Eric, I put together a bouquet of silk flowers and wrapped them in ribbon. I attached a tag as a symbol of my love. The tag also has his name, which helps to identify his resting place. Right now, there isn't a stone at the site. We have to wait till Spring. Minnesota Winter doesn't allow for thawing just yet. Another month or so for the snow to melt and the cold temperatures to subside...maybe in May we'll be able to place a marker for our sweet Eric. In the mean time, these will be with him:

Completely changing the topic, I sat down last night in the quiet of the evening to do some scrapbooking. I finished up a layout I had been putting off for a few days. I started it last Friday. I got stuck on it at one point. It just didn't feel like my usual layout. Two photos. A red, pink, cream, and black color combination. Lot's of open space. How do I finish this thing? Well, at some point, you just give in and start gluing stuff onto the paper. That's exactly what I did with this layout. I suppose you could consider it a "Valentines" theme layout.

The swirls are Basic Grey rub-ons and I filled them in with gold gel pen ink. The bird is from K & Company's new "Urban Rhapsody" line. I outlined it with a black pen and filled the edges in with gold gel pen ink. Remember, you're drawing doesn't have to be perfect. The messy, sketchy look is more natural than the perfect, stream line look.

Bits & pieces. Don't be afraid to combine things that don't always feel like they belong together. Use color as a gauge when creating a cluster of items on your layout. Play around with orientation. Move things around on your layout for ideas. Only adhere them after you think you've got everything where you want it. What I commonly do when I'm creating a grouping of items (cluster)on a layout is to create each grouping one at a time. One cluster here and another here. Focus on the weight of the cluster. Does it balance the rest of the layout? Does it give direction? Does it promote movement within the layout? Clusters are markers..they're stopping points for the viewer...little signs that say "look here". You just have to make sure that the placement of each cluster contributes to the overall flow of the layout. Is it on a "path" that keeps the viewer within the space of the layout? Direction is really important when playing with clusters. They're the defining areas of the path. So pay attention to where you put them and also what you use to create them.

You know me, I can't get enough flowers. I'm a flower junkie. I use them on almost all my layouts. I think they add texture and depth to a layout. They're also very playful and fun, which is entirely my style. There are so many things you can do with flowers. You can combine them with just about anything; die-cuts, chipboard, stamps, hand-cut fabric, ribbon, pattern paper, and more. Bring them forward with pop-dots and accentuate them with swirls, ribbon, doodling, leaves, etc. At one time, I was afraid to use flowers on my layouts. I just wasn't sure how to use them. Now, they're standard. So many of us use them...it's unavoidable, even on "boy layouts". Smile.

I may not be blogging for the next two days. Don't be alarmed..just busy with scrappen' stuff. CHA is nearing and I have some design work that needs finishing. Be back with an update on Thursday or Friday. Thanx!