Recollection

A few days ago, I received a email from a young widow like myself. She found my blog through a friend and felt compelled to email me her story. This happens from time to time as young widows often feel alone and isolated. We reach out for each other and connect almost immediately every time. I've emailed a number of young widows myself and have met a lot of amazing widows, many of which serve as an example of hope for me. We share the same pain, fear, sadness, frustrations, anger, fatigue, and oh so much more. We're a club nobody really wants to belong to, but for most, it's not a choice. So, when widows locate one another, we usually bond immediately. Through the bonding process, we share stories and tears. Honesty is at the forefront of almost every conversation that happens between two widows. We spare nothing. As widows, we're guarded in the beginning. Every wall that stood previous to the loss is gone. We feel vulnerable and lost. Terribly alone. Not a lot of people in day to day society really understand the changes that come after losing a spouse. One feels a sense of disconnect from the world after this sort of loss. Singled out. I ask myself "What is the role of widow anyway?"  The term is often misleading. There are a lot of stereotypes that exist in our society about "widows"; she/he is old, has been married for forty plus years, and has lived a full life. My usual response.."I wish." Laugh. The reality of widowhood is that it doesn't discriminate between old or young, though young widows may not be as common. This accounts for why I've grown close with a number of young widows these last few months.  I'm truly not alone as a young widow. There are many of us. We share, we listen, and we grow together. For the first time last night, I shared the story of Eric's last few months with another widow...the one that emailed me a few days ago. I wrote down words that described those last eight weeks..it was painful, heartfelt, and lead to an outpouring of tears. It also was healing..I opened a door, looked inside, and embraced what I found. For months, I've been avoiding thinking about those last eight weeks. It's only natural of course considering the immense amount of distress that comes from recalling the past. I'm glad I was able to verbalize it though with someone who truly understands. Thank you to all those that listen.

I've been on the computer for a few hours printing up twenty plus images of Eric for a mini album I plan on finishing by next week. It's a reflection of Eric and his day to day life. I'll show peeks along the way while working on it. You may not see a layout here for a week or so. No worries. They'll be more after I finish this album. I'll be using the Creative Imaginations blue easel album that I showed a few posts ago for this mini album about Eric. It fits perfectly with the feel of the story/subject matter. I'll post pictures in a day or so..and I'll also have news of another matter in the very near future. Can't give any hints just yet, but will do so soon. Take care.