New Traditions

Between working at OA and my scrapbook desk, I haven't had a lot of energy for other things. With the holidays upon us and the realization that this will be our first Christmas without Eric, I've been "under the weather" sort of speak. I've been feeling unmotivated and emotional at times. I've shed many tears over the last few days. At one point, I simply wanted to give up because I felt overwhelmed by the sudden onset of sorrow. It came crashing at me when I least expected it. Last Sunday started out like any other ordinary day. I spent the afternoon with Ethan and we had a grand 'ol time visiting the pet store and going out for lunch. I eventually brought him over to my parent's home so that I could finish up my Christmas shopping...that evening, it hit me. Eric wasn't going to be with us on Christmas. He wasn't ever going to be with us on Christmas again. Suddenly, the big picture became increasingly overwhelming. I cried for a solid hour before returning to a semi-normal state where I could think clearly and be rational about things again. I reminded myself that this holiday season is about creating new traditions for our slightly  "smaller family". This year, we've downsized the Christmas tree and organized a visit from Santa whom will be bringing lots of toys for Ethan. I hung stockings and for the first time, will have a stocking full of goodies for Ethan Christmas morning. Ethan is more aware of the kind of "joy" and excitement that most kids feel this time of year. With so many "firsts" this year, traditions are bound to change. There's a sort of comfort in knowing this, but it doesn't totally dismiss the grief in not having Eric with us. It won't be the same.

Because I've not scrapbooked lately, I'm sharing an article from the new issue of  "Country Living" magazine. I'm fond of this room. I'm especially in love with the colors and the wallpaper. It's the sort of room I could be happy in...while scrapbooking.