Remembering
"When he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night, And pay no worship to the garish sun."
-Shakespeare
Yesterday was
the year anniversary of Eric’s passing away. Beneath the slew of emotions I’m
feeling right now, I still can’t grasp his absence in our lives. Ever since arriving
home from work last night, I’ve been thinking only of him. I woke up at four o’clock
this morning unable to fall back asleep. While lying in bed, I kept pondering the loss and the impact
it’s had on our lives. This last year has been the most difficult year of my
life. With each passing wave of grief, I thought I’d never survive. Still,
today, I wonder if I’ll make it.
There are many obstacles I’ve yet to face and year two is just starting.
This next year
will present it’s own unique set of challenges in relation to the loss. There
will be new reasons to grieve. I’ve been thinking a lot about the house, work,
parenting, Ethan, and other areas of my life that need constant tending to.
I’ve also been thinking about our long term future. Now that I’m in a better
position to think about these things, I feel it’s time to start reviewing them.
Ultimately, I seek simplicity.
I’ve been heavily invested in various areas of my life these last three years
and I want to “downsize” some. I’m
looking at the kinds of ways I can make this happen. I would love to have more
time for creating and being with Ethan. Both take priority above all else. So,
with this next year, I’ll be looking at ways to simplify my life and meet some
new goals.
The photo above
of Eric is one of my favorites. I adore his genuine smile in this photo. How I
miss that smile…love you Eric.
