I'm not really sure what had changed or ultimately led to Ethan willingly participating in a conversation between himself and "Dad", but it caught me off guard slightly and opened my eyes to a place in Ethan's heart that yearns to connect with his greatest biological connection, Eric. Before we even reached the site, Ethan asked if we'd brought "rocks" with us to leave behind for dad, though I was without an assortment this time around (I'll explain the rock story later). Not surprisingly then, Ethan was dissapointed that the rocks we left last time, were gone, taken or removed by the owners of the property. Yes, this particular burial location doesn't allow for stand-up items to be left for loved ones. It's been increasingly frustrating over the years to deal with, but we'll still leave items behind from time to time. As we stood there overlooking Eric's grave, Ethan spoke directly to him...
"Hello Dad! How are you? We miss you Daddy! I love you very much. I love you as big as a whale - super BIG!"
He then went on to talk about the missing rocks and mentioned that he would bring more with him the following visit.
As to what instigated the conversation, I can't be certain, but it's the first time I've seen/heard Ethan speak to Eric as though he were standing next to him. Ethan's level of awareness was highly attuned to the reality of the situation as well, which I'm guessing has something to do with his recent progression in maturity and age. He was inately engaged within a meaningful exchange between father and son. It was a moment I had to capture and thankfully, I had the iPhone with me.
And so it is, Ethan growing into a "young boy" before my eyes and the very clear realization that the obvious missing piece in our lives is slowly entering Ethan's mindset with age. Soon, I imagine he'll be asking all kinds of questions about Eric as he attempts to further understand himself and the world around him. I hope to have almost all the answers for him too...the two share a lot in common.
